“It was honestly life-changing.” I heard those words from author and holistic healing coach, Grace Van Patten. I have found that many people can relate to what she wrote in her new book, Family of Secrets: How to Break the Codes of Comfort & Ignore the Signs That We All Hold In-Store. If you are struggling with family issues of any kind, I highly recommend that you take a read. But first, I want to introduce you to the book and review its contents.
I would like to take a moment to discuss the notion of family because it is so central to what It Was Really Life-changing: Grace Van Patten on Finding Family. The concept of the family is at the core of all of the teachings of Jesus Christ. Jesus instructed us to consider his family when we are willing to come to him for help. In fact, when we give him our whole heart, we will receive immediate help, if we apply ourselves to that.
The problem is that our modern culture does not always recognize or understand the importance of the family. Some people believe that it is a given that households are made up of a husband and wife. This is simply untrue! Although the institution of marriage has endured for thousands of years, there are still far too many families where the husband and wife rarely spend time together. One of the most common reasons for this is that a lot of men feel trapped by the notion that they need to be independent. They cannot be too self-sufficient!
When a couple decides to marry, they generally live in the home they share together for the duration of the marriage. So, if a man is having marital problems, he usually only sees his wife when she is at home. She is not his primary focus of attention, so when problems arise, he’s typically the one who is stressed out. If a man wants to find meaning in his daily interactions with his wife, he needs to start spending more time with her outside the home.
It’s not uncommon for a married couple to go their separate ways after a while. Perhaps one of the reasons is that resentment develops over time. Even though they may have a deep love for each other, couples sometimes drift toward each other’s side. They may argue, or they may not communicate anymore. Their level of intimacy with each other is starting to wane.
If your family is small, you can do a lot to repair your relationship. Be willing to listen to your spouse’s complaints, concerns, and issues. Even if you don’t know how to solve them, try to offer suggestions. Be willing to compromise, as long as your spouse knows that you genuinely want to improve the relationship. You will find that as your marriage improves, so will your level of intimacy with each other.
When you read It Was Honestly Life-Changing by Grace Van Patten, you discover the origin of her dissatisfaction with her career-to-life balance. In an earlier book, she had explored the need to leave her job to take care of her children and give herself time to relax and care for her aging parents. She also credits her mother and father for always supporting her. But she still felt stuck in a dead-end job, always working at somebody else’s pace.
It’s sad but true that no one really wants to become a one-person household. Even when relationships feel like they are working together toward a common goal, problems inevitably creep up. Sometimes, people reach a point in their lives when they just don’t feel that they are making enough money to support themselves and their families. If you are approaching midlife and are starting to experience a loss of passion and vitality, it may be time to start searching for life-changing opportunities. You might be surprised at just how dramatically your situation can change once you tap into the power of a life-changing experience like That’s All, What’s Your Name.